I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
