fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
