my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
