Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
