A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Me. At least after what I've been through.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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