Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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