everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
