Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize