He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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