What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
