Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
