I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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