i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
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He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
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It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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