he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
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Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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