I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
