Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
