I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You ruined the universe
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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