who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
