ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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