apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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