I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
