Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
