if only i could text you this smell
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
