he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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