so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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