I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
