I could have mohawked her pubes.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
