I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
