I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
