it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
