Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
