My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
