I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
