Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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