If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i think im in europe. pls send help
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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