im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think I am morally bankrupt
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
