So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
This toilet bowl is my home.
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