i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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