I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
