i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
