what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
