At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
