my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
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I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
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