I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
