i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
