Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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