wanna go halves on a baby?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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