I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
