Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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