Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
