I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize