Buhtt sex?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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