Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
