sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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