Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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