So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
