wanna go halves on a baby?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
