Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
