I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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