When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
honey bunches of taint.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
