I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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