Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
