I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
