I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
