Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize