is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
